What a beauty Jonathan. This chapter feels like courage and the many ways it’s emboldened and knocked down. The sky (“I breathed in the summer and the sky gave me courage” —I love that line!), the weekly Japanese sitcom, the brother sister bond—growing that courage against the tide of society and classism. I feel an invincibility especially in the brother sister relationship, so gentle and fiercely loving, maybe founding all the courage it will take to “face the music” ahead.
You are such a wonderful reader Kimberly. As a writer I'm always trying to insinuate and nod toward and nudge ideas and feelings in the reader, and you feel them and get them every time. That is such a pleasure for me that you are intuiting my intention and bringing so much empathetic understanding to the reading. Thank you so much :)
Jonathan, you’ve out done yourself. i’m going to echo Kim and say this chapter feels like courage, because what a beautiful way to say what’s true. It’s hard to pick out a favorite line with so many fantastic ones.
I love these characters. The call and response with the poem made me gasp with joy. I know you said this was just a three-part series. (You said this, right?) But if you ever bring them back again, I’ll follow this narrator and his sister wherever they go.
Oh Holly, firstly, thank you so much, I really appreciate you saying that!
About the three-part thing, basically I wrote the first part as a stand alone story, but I enjoyed the characters and the writing so much I thought I'd create a longer narrative arc. In that process I started to think about a short novella or the like, and as I said to Joshua above, I kinda tested out a few things here on Substack with the intention of writing something bigger. So, long story short (no pun intended) you'll definitely get to see this story and these characters expanding to something more :)
There is something with their defiance and love and spirit that I really like. Cheers pal :)
Boy I love the nostalgic mood you evoke Jonathan! The rivalry covered adoration...The Argentinian war, which I have recently been thinking of; the boyfriend of the time who so unwillingly fort it and was changed for life on returning - the same boyfriend, gentle and nature loving, mentioned in a recent post - even at such a young age I saw all that was the wrong in Thatcher fuelled stupidity. And, sibling rivalry, we were three girls, fought constantly, no one program could silence the friction chez nous.
I had to look the poem up this time, thank you for the intro, and Monkey, my husband still watches... says much doesn't it! Though I could do with falling under 'the bewitching power of Monkey, Pigsy, Sandy and Tripitaka this week!' or something... anything!
Thanks Susie! It's funny how writing this series evokes so many 80's memories. I don't think I've even thought of a Harrier Jump Jet for 40 years! (thanks goodness). I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend. These wars are so evil on the poor young me who are forced to actually fight them. That's sort of what I'm trying to describe in the series, the way that society and power crush the most vulnerable for their own. I knew you'd be fully aware of that milk snatcher's evilness (have you heard Elvis Costello's sing Tramp the dirt down?).
Anyway, a million apologies about not yet getting to your latest, I'll do in soon, just been so overwhelmed with stuff recently. You're not (never) forgotten though :)
This relationship and connection is so beautiful and I love seeing it unfold in a merciless world. I am eager to know what choices they will make, and who they become.
Me too, on both counts. Funny how writing is a bit like reading from the VIP seats, first to read whatever comes from your own brain :)
Thanks Troy, I'm so glad you enjoyed this...I'll keep it going for sure, so fun sculpting these people. Next week something else though, before returning to that dodgy, dreary, smokey town :)
Man, Jonathan ! I did something different today, I took you with me on my daily hike up a steep road ,more an athletic endeavor, jog up, walk down, repeat, repeat…but this time, I listened, what a new revelation! Taken to a different place , totally immersed in another time, just by listening to your voice. Pretty cool. I think I was writing #5 by the time I finished. Of course that was then, and this is now, already slipped my mind, poof. Ok, enough about me. I know, this is fiction, but you are so good at taking reality and magically, metaphorically, with your alchemical ability, shape it into doll house size. The kind I used to play with as a child. Setting the scenes in each little room. Whispering stories to no one in particular, while I imagined and created, my own little world. I love this continuation. I hope you have more to ‘unpack’. So many ways to take this story. I see a glimpse of the movie; Stand By Me (1986) if you remember. I watched it several times over the years. I looked up Joy Harjo, because I loved the poem, and the wonderful way you utilized it. I read that she won the Frost award, and I remembered this poem by Robert Frost. I thought of the underdog. I think you’ll find it appropriate.
Well firstly Lor, well done on the athletic endeavor my friend! I also do that stuff and I know how, let's say challenging even getting your shoes on can be, let alone actually doing the " jog up, walk down, repeat, repeat" bit. So hats off to you!
I really like that " Setting the scenes in each little room," idea. That's a pretty great description of each of those 1,2,3 chapter thingys I guess. Like walking through doors into scenes.
That JoJo Harjo poem (I think she was originally called JoJo Foster so I reckon shes got to be a relative ;) is great isn't it? Such a beautiful way to describe the variety of people and the challenges faced. Thanks so much for that Robert Frost one, I've never read that before so that's cool. You were right, it's påerfect. Could I use it in another chapter? I reckon :)
Weathers turned a little to the warmer, by the way, so I reckon it'll have to be next year when the Great Snow Angel Challenge actually takes place! I shan't be forgetting though :)
I sometimes wonder if my words actually make me any more than my dog, who has no words, but seems as equally engaged as I am. I can't decide if words are my greatest ally or my worst enemy. Guess I'll never know :)
Well, that's an incisive question and maybe difficult to answer.
I guess one of the strengths and one of the weaknesses of Substack is that it's both a great place to mess about and experiment, and a terrible place to mess about and experiment. I get the feeling that writing within the guardrails is rewarded with views and likes and comments and whatnot, and there's lot's of advice here to build a kind of Substack "brand identity" where people know what to expect. But I've found myself writing all kinds of things, mostly fiction, but also more essay style weaved through fiction etc. Sometimes I find I'm writing something that pings all the Substack pinball lights and people like it, then the following week I'll find myself writing something totally different and abandoning that path entirely. Early on I wrote a lot of "The Dog And I" pieces (which I will definitely return to later because I love them) but then I found myself compelled to open other boxes and peer in.
So, with the Schrödinger's Cat series, I basically have a novella in mind about this family that I want to use to write about inequality, and power, and social behaviour, and love and the way power infects and influences peoples lives on a personal and societal level etc. So I'm kind of writing these motifs, or scenes and feeling my way through the characters and sharing the process of "painting" these characters into life out in the open, here on The Crow.
I suppose the "end" might be when I go off and turn them all into a novella off of Substack, or maybe just keep them going and seeing how it evolves. But to be honest Joshua, I'm not really sure at the moment, but I'm enjoying trying to create short pieces that raise questions and entertain and satisfy and shine a light on certain things that are worthy in and of themselves, using the same characters for a while.
Sorry, that's a long and somewhat unsatisfying answer I reckon. But I don't mind doing this without really knowing what exactly I'm doing. Not sure it's an advisable way to treat ones Substack but there you go, I'm a little problematic in that way :)
He asked my question as well and you answered it. Remember Twain and Dickens both serialized their work each week in the newspapers. I think the Substack environment is handy as a gauge of interest in the piece as a short story that could grow into a novella/novel length. A little spit, some bailing string, duct tape and a fine skim coat of bull shite and you’re off and running. You have a very good handle on dialogue, storytelling, pacing and that most difficult skill, getting the reader to care-which I have mentioned before. If this ever grows into something larger, I’ll buy it, plain and simple. Thanks Jonathan
Wes, that's the most encouraging comment I've had for flaming ages pal :) Thank you my friend.(I feel like I'm always thanking you, but I do feel like your opinion and advice has real value).
BTW, I hope Portugal is treating you well, have some peri peri chicken is my advice :)
Didn't expect such a full answer. I think Substack is a good place to 'test the water' and that's a vital part of the process of getting clear. Anyway, from my end you are gathering some great material.
Wonderful Jonathan! Thanks for the lunch time listen.
I love that Monkey Magic brought peace to your brotherhood as it did for my sistership in the other side of earth. Also, the expression of your brother ‘colonising the sofa’ is genius.
Thanks so much Julia. Monkey Magic was brilliant eh! Loved and adored by Aussies and Brits like nothing else. I loved it. Not sure the dubbed accents would work today. (Just want to say that this is a fiction really, but of course I am bringing in things that I recognise of course :)
Oh yes, noted! Fiction in the weft of lived life. I recently rewatched the intro to Monkey Magic as it reminded me of my sward dance yoga teacher. Then I realised, dubbed voices and all, that MM was my first introduction to buddhism!
I honestly think it was mine too. I found Tripitaka such a strange androgynous other worldly character (and a bit annoying the way they kept admonishing Monkey and his fantastic antics). But I think MM might have been my gateway drug to Buddhism. There was only two series but they made a huge impression on my younger self. That whistling for a cloud. Oh how I'd love to do that :)
Oh, same here! Actually when my daughter was in kindergarten, she would get so tired on our walks home. So I taught her how to call her cloud. We would jump on and run home laughing. One of my best parenting tricks ever!
What a beauty Jonathan. This chapter feels like courage and the many ways it’s emboldened and knocked down. The sky (“I breathed in the summer and the sky gave me courage” —I love that line!), the weekly Japanese sitcom, the brother sister bond—growing that courage against the tide of society and classism. I feel an invincibility especially in the brother sister relationship, so gentle and fiercely loving, maybe founding all the courage it will take to “face the music” ahead.
You are such a wonderful reader Kimberly. As a writer I'm always trying to insinuate and nod toward and nudge ideas and feelings in the reader, and you feel them and get them every time. That is such a pleasure for me that you are intuiting my intention and bringing so much empathetic understanding to the reading. Thank you so much :)
Jonathan, you’ve out done yourself. i’m going to echo Kim and say this chapter feels like courage, because what a beautiful way to say what’s true. It’s hard to pick out a favorite line with so many fantastic ones.
I love these characters. The call and response with the poem made me gasp with joy. I know you said this was just a three-part series. (You said this, right?) But if you ever bring them back again, I’ll follow this narrator and his sister wherever they go.
Just brilliant!
Oh Holly, firstly, thank you so much, I really appreciate you saying that!
About the three-part thing, basically I wrote the first part as a stand alone story, but I enjoyed the characters and the writing so much I thought I'd create a longer narrative arc. In that process I started to think about a short novella or the like, and as I said to Joshua above, I kinda tested out a few things here on Substack with the intention of writing something bigger. So, long story short (no pun intended) you'll definitely get to see this story and these characters expanding to something more :)
There is something with their defiance and love and spirit that I really like. Cheers pal :)
Yass! You’re truly onto something with them, Jonathan. I really mean it when I say I’d follow them anywhere.
Boy I love the nostalgic mood you evoke Jonathan! The rivalry covered adoration...The Argentinian war, which I have recently been thinking of; the boyfriend of the time who so unwillingly fort it and was changed for life on returning - the same boyfriend, gentle and nature loving, mentioned in a recent post - even at such a young age I saw all that was the wrong in Thatcher fuelled stupidity. And, sibling rivalry, we were three girls, fought constantly, no one program could silence the friction chez nous.
I had to look the poem up this time, thank you for the intro, and Monkey, my husband still watches... says much doesn't it! Though I could do with falling under 'the bewitching power of Monkey, Pigsy, Sandy and Tripitaka this week!' or something... anything!
Thanks Susie! It's funny how writing this series evokes so many 80's memories. I don't think I've even thought of a Harrier Jump Jet for 40 years! (thanks goodness). I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend. These wars are so evil on the poor young me who are forced to actually fight them. That's sort of what I'm trying to describe in the series, the way that society and power crush the most vulnerable for their own. I knew you'd be fully aware of that milk snatcher's evilness (have you heard Elvis Costello's sing Tramp the dirt down?).
Anyway, a million apologies about not yet getting to your latest, I'll do in soon, just been so overwhelmed with stuff recently. You're not (never) forgotten though :)
I haven't heard that song in years but yes, EC was another LP played until there was nothing left to play...
No apologies necessary Jonathan, ever, truly I know... I am five days late posting anything this week, overwhelm doesn't even come close!
I hope you see light soon 🙏🏼
This relationship and connection is so beautiful and I love seeing it unfold in a merciless world. I am eager to know what choices they will make, and who they become.
Me too, on both counts. Funny how writing is a bit like reading from the VIP seats, first to read whatever comes from your own brain :)
Thanks Troy, I'm so glad you enjoyed this...I'll keep it going for sure, so fun sculpting these people. Next week something else though, before returning to that dodgy, dreary, smokey town :)
Man, Jonathan ! I did something different today, I took you with me on my daily hike up a steep road ,more an athletic endeavor, jog up, walk down, repeat, repeat…but this time, I listened, what a new revelation! Taken to a different place , totally immersed in another time, just by listening to your voice. Pretty cool. I think I was writing #5 by the time I finished. Of course that was then, and this is now, already slipped my mind, poof. Ok, enough about me. I know, this is fiction, but you are so good at taking reality and magically, metaphorically, with your alchemical ability, shape it into doll house size. The kind I used to play with as a child. Setting the scenes in each little room. Whispering stories to no one in particular, while I imagined and created, my own little world. I love this continuation. I hope you have more to ‘unpack’. So many ways to take this story. I see a glimpse of the movie; Stand By Me (1986) if you remember. I watched it several times over the years. I looked up Joy Harjo, because I loved the poem, and the wonderful way you utilized it. I read that she won the Frost award, and I remembered this poem by Robert Frost. I thought of the underdog. I think you’ll find it appropriate.
Canis Major~
“The great Overdog
That heavenly beast
With a star in one eye
Gives a leap in the east.
He dances upright
All the way to the west
And never once drops
On his forefeet to rest.
I'm a poor underdog,
But to-night I will bark
With the great Overdog
That romps through the dark.”
Well firstly Lor, well done on the athletic endeavor my friend! I also do that stuff and I know how, let's say challenging even getting your shoes on can be, let alone actually doing the " jog up, walk down, repeat, repeat" bit. So hats off to you!
I really like that " Setting the scenes in each little room," idea. That's a pretty great description of each of those 1,2,3 chapter thingys I guess. Like walking through doors into scenes.
That JoJo Harjo poem (I think she was originally called JoJo Foster so I reckon shes got to be a relative ;) is great isn't it? Such a beautiful way to describe the variety of people and the challenges faced. Thanks so much for that Robert Frost one, I've never read that before so that's cool. You were right, it's påerfect. Could I use it in another chapter? I reckon :)
Weathers turned a little to the warmer, by the way, so I reckon it'll have to be next year when the Great Snow Angel Challenge actually takes place! I shan't be forgetting though :)
Keeping quiet is not an option.
Keep writing my friend!
I will pal. And no, I might be talking absolute nonsense but I'll not keep quiet, I can promise you that :)
Those thoughts become words. They make us all.
(Amen Jonathan!)
I sometimes wonder if my words actually make me any more than my dog, who has no words, but seems as equally engaged as I am. I can't decide if words are my greatest ally or my worst enemy. Guess I'll never know :)
Thanks Síodhna, glad you're here pal :)
Really enjoyed this - worth the extra week's wait.
"Funny how quickly life will sneak up and bite you when you let your guard down." Hmmm, a bit of self-promotion = https://joshuabondpoetry.substack.com/p/a-mind-off-grid-nr01-the-cycle-of
Is this Schrödinger's Cat series intended to have an 'end' or just an explorative series of cameos? (Just curious)?
Well, that's an incisive question and maybe difficult to answer.
I guess one of the strengths and one of the weaknesses of Substack is that it's both a great place to mess about and experiment, and a terrible place to mess about and experiment. I get the feeling that writing within the guardrails is rewarded with views and likes and comments and whatnot, and there's lot's of advice here to build a kind of Substack "brand identity" where people know what to expect. But I've found myself writing all kinds of things, mostly fiction, but also more essay style weaved through fiction etc. Sometimes I find I'm writing something that pings all the Substack pinball lights and people like it, then the following week I'll find myself writing something totally different and abandoning that path entirely. Early on I wrote a lot of "The Dog And I" pieces (which I will definitely return to later because I love them) but then I found myself compelled to open other boxes and peer in.
So, with the Schrödinger's Cat series, I basically have a novella in mind about this family that I want to use to write about inequality, and power, and social behaviour, and love and the way power infects and influences peoples lives on a personal and societal level etc. So I'm kind of writing these motifs, or scenes and feeling my way through the characters and sharing the process of "painting" these characters into life out in the open, here on The Crow.
I suppose the "end" might be when I go off and turn them all into a novella off of Substack, or maybe just keep them going and seeing how it evolves. But to be honest Joshua, I'm not really sure at the moment, but I'm enjoying trying to create short pieces that raise questions and entertain and satisfy and shine a light on certain things that are worthy in and of themselves, using the same characters for a while.
Sorry, that's a long and somewhat unsatisfying answer I reckon. But I don't mind doing this without really knowing what exactly I'm doing. Not sure it's an advisable way to treat ones Substack but there you go, I'm a little problematic in that way :)
He asked my question as well and you answered it. Remember Twain and Dickens both serialized their work each week in the newspapers. I think the Substack environment is handy as a gauge of interest in the piece as a short story that could grow into a novella/novel length. A little spit, some bailing string, duct tape and a fine skim coat of bull shite and you’re off and running. You have a very good handle on dialogue, storytelling, pacing and that most difficult skill, getting the reader to care-which I have mentioned before. If this ever grows into something larger, I’ll buy it, plain and simple. Thanks Jonathan
It’s beautiful isn’t it! I love the south of Spain. Good food too! Spent a few years living in Barcelona, what a town.
Well, then you certainly know the vibe.
Wes, that's the most encouraging comment I've had for flaming ages pal :) Thank you my friend.(I feel like I'm always thanking you, but I do feel like your opinion and advice has real value).
BTW, I hope Portugal is treating you well, have some peri peri chicken is my advice :)
All good to hear. We are now in Málaga, so we left Faro behind a few day ago. This is a magical town.
Didn't expect such a full answer. I think Substack is a good place to 'test the water' and that's a vital part of the process of getting clear. Anyway, from my end you are gathering some great material.
Wonderful Jonathan! Thanks for the lunch time listen.
I love that Monkey Magic brought peace to your brotherhood as it did for my sistership in the other side of earth. Also, the expression of your brother ‘colonising the sofa’ is genius.
Thanks so much Julia. Monkey Magic was brilliant eh! Loved and adored by Aussies and Brits like nothing else. I loved it. Not sure the dubbed accents would work today. (Just want to say that this is a fiction really, but of course I am bringing in things that I recognise of course :)
And the Irish! One of our all time favourites growing up.
We should start a Monkey Gang!
Oh yes, noted! Fiction in the weft of lived life. I recently rewatched the intro to Monkey Magic as it reminded me of my sward dance yoga teacher. Then I realised, dubbed voices and all, that MM was my first introduction to buddhism!
I honestly think it was mine too. I found Tripitaka such a strange androgynous other worldly character (and a bit annoying the way they kept admonishing Monkey and his fantastic antics). But I think MM might have been my gateway drug to Buddhism. There was only two series but they made a huge impression on my younger self. That whistling for a cloud. Oh how I'd love to do that :)
Oh, same here! Actually when my daughter was in kindergarten, she would get so tired on our walks home. So I taught her how to call her cloud. We would jump on and run home laughing. One of my best parenting tricks ever!
That's fantastic, it actually makes me happy to think of it :)
Oh yes, we in Oz loved it too! We had pretty much all the Thames TV rota; the Goodies, The Wombles.
The goodies was another madcap favourite :)
So enjoy it when I get to listen!! I'll be looking for you on Audible next.
Mmmmm now there’s an idea :) Glad you enjoyed it Jon 👍🏼