Your writing was like someone switched on a movie in front of my eyes. It's a hallmark of great writing. It echoed what we have all been feeling in these turbulent times. Whether it is in the U.S., or Europe, or the Middle East. And I do not want this comment to devolve into politics, but this story does tug on the general chaos of our times. Things that command our attention vs. things that should.
I love the layers of struggle and meaning in this story, Jonathan. A deep and contemplative, read.
Thank you Nazish :) I’m very grateful for your kind words, especially seeing as I was/am a bit worried about this one. There’s so many ideas folding into and around themselves. Like the idea that the narrator (we) is/are never paying attention, and still, in the the story is failing to pay attention, pushing their own ideas onto the story.
But you’re so right to about not wanting to devolve into politics. I tried to make the themes we live with (“the chaos of our times” as you so nicely put it) stand independently of solutions or ideology. I think my writing is often highly politically charged, but in these fiction pieces, I veer away from content arguments which just crumble into “flinging facts, as if facts were a substitute for diplomacy and compromise”. The problem we have is not only content but “projection”, like these two character’s (especially the narrator) constantly projecting their own needs and desires (even if one is “better” than the other) onto a world that will respond not to the ideas themselves, but to the consequence of the behaviours inherent in the ideas.
Normally I have a strong hopeful off ramp, or potential for change in my writing, but this one came out quite stark and barren. I think these trying times are effecting my writing. Unsurprisingly.
Anyway, thanks again Nazish, great comment as usual :)
Some time back, I posted a note which said something like I being sick of political Substacks in my feed. But that was me being akin to the ostrich with its head in the sand. And I do really appreciate your politically charged writings.
Having said that, I love how you focus the lens on the narrator. This makes you, at once, identifying with the narrator and want to chastise him too.
I agree, most "politics" is about defending lines in the sand drawn by ego and fuelled by anger. I'm sick of that too. Pointless. I'm trying to raise questions that sit with a person and fester ;)
Anyway, brilliantly noticed :) that's exactly what I was going for, Nazish, a feeling of affninty and alienation from the narrator at the same time....which isn't a million miles form how we feel about most things I reckon :)
This piece gripped me with its eerie, aching inevitability—a story that unspools like a flood itself, rising in slow, creeping waves before sweeping everything away. It moved me in the way only great writing does: by making me feel both small and complicit, caught in the current of history, of power, of regret. The narrator’s blindness, their failure to pay attention, is our own—our human tendency to cling to illusions, to mistake argument for action, to build walls of facts instead of listening. And then there are the ghosts, the weight of the past bearing down on the present, demanding reckoning. The final image—cows swallowed by the water, voices drowned out, the ghosts reaching—left me breathless. It’s not just a haunting story; it’s a reckoning, a warning, a lament for what has already been lost and what is still slipping away.
Your comments are like perfect miniture reflections of the writing that capture all that is vital and meaningful. Amazing Kimberly. Thank you so much. I did laugh at “I think I’ll go and cry now.” Yep, this one is relentless. I think I need a good nights sleep (the solution to everything:)
Thanks Joshua, I really appreciate you offering such kind words! Hopefully future fables will be more hopeful, but I’ve not been in that frame of mind.
Important point. I'd rather be 'realistic' and cultivate hope from there, than be naïvely hopeful.
I'm reminded of Yahia Lababidi's aphorism on hope: "Hope is another name for refusing to accept things as they are". In that respect your fable seems quite hopeful to me.
I completely agree with you Joshua. I always think of hope like betting on the horses (which I don't do either) in as much as hope is like desiring a particular outcome in a field where multiple outcomes are likely. It's a projection of desire built upon all kinds of criteria, most of which are not beneficial to all parties.
So I might take even take Lababidi's aphorism one step further and suggest that "Hope is another name for refusing to accept things as they are...AND how things will most likely be."
I guess sometimes I just bandy about terms like hope without really thinkibg them through :)
In an essay called Beyond Hope written almost 20 years ago by Derrick Jensen he says, "Hope is what keeps us chained to the system, the conglomerate of people and ideas and ideals that is causing the destruction of the Earth."
There is some inexplicable instinct in us humans that has us reaching for hope and we are surrounded by a culture that thrives on hyped up positivity, but I think the path to a radical acceptance of the perilous times we live in can only come from being hope free. (I haven't got there yet - a clear indicator that I traffic in hope - but am attempting to practice letting go hope without being consumed by hopelessness).
What a great phrase, "hyped up positivity," which I think is a coping mechanism in a world where chances and opportunities are slim and far between. I think it's a spin off from hyper-individualism where everything is supposed to be your own responsibility.
Absolutely agree with the idea of radical acceptance, if for only the mere reason that it means we fully understand where we actually are, say in relation to climate chaos, or political inequality, instead of falling for whatever narrative is designed to shield the truth.
Thanks so much for the link Jayasree, I'll read that, and thanks so much for the comment too :)
Oops, hit post before I finished. Wanted to add that someone earlier called this a modern-day fable. And I thought that was a very apt description. Thank you for creating our fables, my friend.
Oh wow, this is such good writing, Jonathan. I was particularly gripped by the line about being the best ghosts we can be for the future—which will live in our shadows. Can’t think of a more prescient reminder.
It struck me when I was writing that idea, that it is so strange that these days our societies are so insane and out of kilter that we need to keep thinking up new ways of trying to persuade ourselves to act morally and responsibility and fairly. And even when we are doing that it still feels like nothing will change.
I've found myself using this motif of ancestors and descendants in my writing a lot, because I feel very close to the fleetingness of life, but also, I think because it raises this question of ethics and responsibility and duty and indebtedness. And I'm really surprised by this. My theory is because I'm reacting to the incomprehensible stupidity of so much of what is happening and being done.
If and when you do write a book, it should be called, "The Shopkeeper Kings". This idea of rewriting the past according to what best suites us reminds me of a lot of what we are seeing now in our "leadership". Fiddling with the past has consequences that narrow minded men cannot conceive. thanks Jonathan
I cannot see a way of saving the situation that doesn't involve the Shopkeeper Kings being removed from their cash register thrones and more equality restored to the world. I'm genuinely sorry you guys have to suffer the moronic idiocy these men are exhibiting Wes, so I'm glad you're chilling (warming?) in Mexico for the time being. Pat some dogs and watch the birds and write gorgeous poems for us all :)
This is such a stunning piece, Jonathan! As Nazish mentions, the underlying political themes too, tugging at this parable, and you have masterfully captured these complex bewildering themes... 'stark and barren' as you say, reflecting the chaos of our times, to which none of us is immune.
Despite it all, or perhaps against this backdrop, I am as ever fascinated by your use of language. The whole piece appears before my mental vision as a fabric, intricately embroidered with threads of different colours and textures, telling the story. The threads made by repetitions of words appearing, vanishing, reappearing in unexpected places, changing directions, a kind of Sashiko (running stitch) made entirely out of words… I’m blown away by your word magic ♥️ 🙏 🧚🏽 🪄
That’s a fascinating analogy, embroidery or stitching being like writing, so similar, a slow, careful, sedentary pastime that builds up small patterns to become greater than the sum of their parts. Wonderful. We are all Shashikoists :) Thank you Veronika, I’m so touched by your close reading.
I should not have read this in bed, in the dark, wrapped in blankets . Right before I closed my eyes , slumbering and stumbling into a land of dreams. I fell head first into a very large Gordian knot.
“We in the present create the past, just as the past forms the future. That’s exactly what the ghosts did. They become the future in their present and now they are our past and we are their future.”
In Baxter State park in Maine ,there is a trail called Knife’s Edge. In some places ,only three feet wide, one must focus on foot placement and always keeping in mind , at any given moment, ‘look where you want to go, not where you don’t’ . Only rock and open sky and literally the entire world drops steeply on either side. Baxter State Park Guidebook explains; “Knife’s Edge should not be attempted in poor or marginal conditions. Do not attempt to leave the ridge once you have started…”
Maybe it should be renamed, The Now.
“The Now is just a peak in time from which everything falls, one way or another, into the past or into the future, maybe both ways”
Excuse me, while I continue to untangle myself . Brilliant ,Jonathan.
(Have you ever read the Hunger games, by Suzanne Collins?)
Ha ha That's the perfect analogy Lor, falling one way or the other from the Knife's Edge. Love it.
I must admit to an imagined acrophobia, so even thinking about that Knife's Edge is challenging. I watched the Alex Honnold film where he free climbs El Capitan in a state of total nerve wracking panic. I say imagined acrophobia because I've never actually ventured up to a place where I could test my fears :)
I haven't read Hunger games, or seen the series (if they are relate?), do you recommend it?
We saw Free Solo in the theatre, literally hanging on to the arm rests at times, or in my case , grabbing my husband’s arm. I mentioned HG because of your use of names ;“The Rains, The Time Of Ravage…”
The Hunger Games is set in what is now North America, the government is a Utopian society .The rest of North America is divided into 12 very poor and controlled Dystopian districts. Telling you more would give away the story. And there is so much more, but there is something called “The Reaping” ,but I won’t give that part away. I read the books first, then watched the movies.You may want to watch the first one, or read the first one and see if you find it worthy, I’m guessing you might like to read first. Be sure to watch in order if you do . Your daughters would probably love it too.The first book ( and movie) is called The Hunger Games. You might be able to stream it free where you live.There are some great actors as well, Woody Harrelson, Donald Sutherland, Philip Seymour, and of course the lead, Jennifer Lawrence. Even Lenny Kravitz plays a great roll.
Mmmmm HG sounds worth taking a gander at, thanks Lor, I'll check it out. BTW, we did the exact same, clung onto each other in the cinema like we were trying to cling on to that rock face. Incredible film. And bloody awful!
Like an echo, I hear the laughter of the cave painters leaving their joyful marks on the rock. This is a fabulous story, deeply embedded in our global imaginings.
"deeply embedded in our global imaginings", perfect, thank you Sarah, there are all kinds of "grand narratives" or "global imaginings" sloshing about here, so thanks for allowing them through :)
I'm scared to know the truth too, maybe that's why we keep projecting ;)
I really like the idea of past, present and future merging into each other and each being responsible for the other. There's an indigenous echo in it I think.
I think it is. Funnily enough the Maori word for the past, also means in front and coming. Or the Australian Aboriginal idea that time is circular and flexible, shifting according to need. I feel oppressed by this weird idea of "progress" and linearity.
Good grief Jonathan, says she, wiping away tears... what a truly harrowing but brilliantly written story/essay/biography of our times? I am not sure a label can even be attached.
There are so many layers of truth hidden between the ghosts, so cleverly linking to the present.
I could pick out so many lines but this one... I'm not sure I'll forget!
“You’re wrong, we can,” he said, “We in the present create the past, just as the past forms the future. That’s exactly what the ghosts did. They become the future in their present and now they are our past and we are their future."
And then "And we too shall be ghosts. How shall our shadow fall?"
Depends entirely on whether we start to pay attention and wether The Keepers stop starting fights!
I am silenced completely by your writing, your prose and your attention to truths...
I wonder if that difficulty in attaching a label is both a strength and weakness of my writing? But I know what you mean. I'm trying to raise feeling and thought in a reader and why not crash through some gate to achieve it? :)
And thanks Susie, I don't really know what a Substack friend really is, but you are definitely one of mine! Hope your well :)
Your writing was like someone switched on a movie in front of my eyes. It's a hallmark of great writing. It echoed what we have all been feeling in these turbulent times. Whether it is in the U.S., or Europe, or the Middle East. And I do not want this comment to devolve into politics, but this story does tug on the general chaos of our times. Things that command our attention vs. things that should.
I love the layers of struggle and meaning in this story, Jonathan. A deep and contemplative, read.
Thank you Nazish :) I’m very grateful for your kind words, especially seeing as I was/am a bit worried about this one. There’s so many ideas folding into and around themselves. Like the idea that the narrator (we) is/are never paying attention, and still, in the the story is failing to pay attention, pushing their own ideas onto the story.
But you’re so right to about not wanting to devolve into politics. I tried to make the themes we live with (“the chaos of our times” as you so nicely put it) stand independently of solutions or ideology. I think my writing is often highly politically charged, but in these fiction pieces, I veer away from content arguments which just crumble into “flinging facts, as if facts were a substitute for diplomacy and compromise”. The problem we have is not only content but “projection”, like these two character’s (especially the narrator) constantly projecting their own needs and desires (even if one is “better” than the other) onto a world that will respond not to the ideas themselves, but to the consequence of the behaviours inherent in the ideas.
Normally I have a strong hopeful off ramp, or potential for change in my writing, but this one came out quite stark and barren. I think these trying times are effecting my writing. Unsurprisingly.
Anyway, thanks again Nazish, great comment as usual :)
Some time back, I posted a note which said something like I being sick of political Substacks in my feed. But that was me being akin to the ostrich with its head in the sand. And I do really appreciate your politically charged writings.
Having said that, I love how you focus the lens on the narrator. This makes you, at once, identifying with the narrator and want to chastise him too.
I agree, most "politics" is about defending lines in the sand drawn by ego and fuelled by anger. I'm sick of that too. Pointless. I'm trying to raise questions that sit with a person and fester ;)
Anyway, brilliantly noticed :) that's exactly what I was going for, Nazish, a feeling of affninty and alienation from the narrator at the same time....which isn't a million miles form how we feel about most things I reckon :)
This piece gripped me with its eerie, aching inevitability—a story that unspools like a flood itself, rising in slow, creeping waves before sweeping everything away. It moved me in the way only great writing does: by making me feel both small and complicit, caught in the current of history, of power, of regret. The narrator’s blindness, their failure to pay attention, is our own—our human tendency to cling to illusions, to mistake argument for action, to build walls of facts instead of listening. And then there are the ghosts, the weight of the past bearing down on the present, demanding reckoning. The final image—cows swallowed by the water, voices drowned out, the ghosts reaching—left me breathless. It’s not just a haunting story; it’s a reckoning, a warning, a lament for what has already been lost and what is still slipping away.
I think I’ll go cry now.
Your comments are like perfect miniture reflections of the writing that capture all that is vital and meaningful. Amazing Kimberly. Thank you so much. I did laugh at “I think I’ll go and cry now.” Yep, this one is relentless. I think I need a good nights sleep (the solution to everything:)
Amazing writing, on every level; showing, not telling. Long live new 'fables' for future generations.
Thanks Joshua, I really appreciate you offering such kind words! Hopefully future fables will be more hopeful, but I’ve not been in that frame of mind.
Important point. I'd rather be 'realistic' and cultivate hope from there, than be naïvely hopeful.
I'm reminded of Yahia Lababidi's aphorism on hope: "Hope is another name for refusing to accept things as they are". In that respect your fable seems quite hopeful to me.
I completely agree with you Joshua. I always think of hope like betting on the horses (which I don't do either) in as much as hope is like desiring a particular outcome in a field where multiple outcomes are likely. It's a projection of desire built upon all kinds of criteria, most of which are not beneficial to all parties.
So I might take even take Lababidi's aphorism one step further and suggest that "Hope is another name for refusing to accept things as they are...AND how things will most likely be."
I guess sometimes I just bandy about terms like hope without really thinkibg them through :)
Remember the quote from the Brazilian writer Fernando Sabine: "In the end everything will be o.k; so if it's not o.k, it's not yet the end".
Now there’s some next level optimism 😁
In an essay called Beyond Hope written almost 20 years ago by Derrick Jensen he says, "Hope is what keeps us chained to the system, the conglomerate of people and ideas and ideals that is causing the destruction of the Earth."
There is some inexplicable instinct in us humans that has us reaching for hope and we are surrounded by a culture that thrives on hyped up positivity, but I think the path to a radical acceptance of the perilous times we live in can only come from being hope free. (I haven't got there yet - a clear indicator that I traffic in hope - but am attempting to practice letting go hope without being consumed by hopelessness).
https://orionmagazine.org/article/beyond-hope/
What a great phrase, "hyped up positivity," which I think is a coping mechanism in a world where chances and opportunities are slim and far between. I think it's a spin off from hyper-individualism where everything is supposed to be your own responsibility.
Absolutely agree with the idea of radical acceptance, if for only the mere reason that it means we fully understand where we actually are, say in relation to climate chaos, or political inequality, instead of falling for whatever narrative is designed to shield the truth.
Thanks so much for the link Jayasree, I'll read that, and thanks so much for the comment too :)
Oops, hit post before I finished. Wanted to add that someone earlier called this a modern-day fable. And I thought that was a very apt description. Thank you for creating our fables, my friend.
And thank you for reading them Holly. It really is an honour for me that you dedicate some time to reading my writing. Thank you so much, honestly :)
Oh wow, this is such good writing, Jonathan. I was particularly gripped by the line about being the best ghosts we can be for the future—which will live in our shadows. Can’t think of a more prescient reminder.
It struck me when I was writing that idea, that it is so strange that these days our societies are so insane and out of kilter that we need to keep thinking up new ways of trying to persuade ourselves to act morally and responsibility and fairly. And even when we are doing that it still feels like nothing will change.
I've found myself using this motif of ancestors and descendants in my writing a lot, because I feel very close to the fleetingness of life, but also, I think because it raises this question of ethics and responsibility and duty and indebtedness. And I'm really surprised by this. My theory is because I'm reacting to the incomprehensible stupidity of so much of what is happening and being done.
Haunting, yet true and important. We've lost sight of what's important - each other.
True, and thank you Troy :)
If and when you do write a book, it should be called, "The Shopkeeper Kings". This idea of rewriting the past according to what best suites us reminds me of a lot of what we are seeing now in our "leadership". Fiddling with the past has consequences that narrow minded men cannot conceive. thanks Jonathan
I cannot see a way of saving the situation that doesn't involve the Shopkeeper Kings being removed from their cash register thrones and more equality restored to the world. I'm genuinely sorry you guys have to suffer the moronic idiocy these men are exhibiting Wes, so I'm glad you're chilling (warming?) in Mexico for the time being. Pat some dogs and watch the birds and write gorgeous poems for us all :)
If that’s what I have to do, then by God I will try to deliver. On our way to Portugal Tuesday for two weeks, then Spain, then France.
The lengths your willing to go to Wes, what a trooper ;)
Oh, the sacrifices I- we make, but we must do it, we must carry on or else the bastards have won…😉
so chilling
Yep. A bit harrowing all in all this one. 🙏🏼
This is such a stunning piece, Jonathan! As Nazish mentions, the underlying political themes too, tugging at this parable, and you have masterfully captured these complex bewildering themes... 'stark and barren' as you say, reflecting the chaos of our times, to which none of us is immune.
Despite it all, or perhaps against this backdrop, I am as ever fascinated by your use of language. The whole piece appears before my mental vision as a fabric, intricately embroidered with threads of different colours and textures, telling the story. The threads made by repetitions of words appearing, vanishing, reappearing in unexpected places, changing directions, a kind of Sashiko (running stitch) made entirely out of words… I’m blown away by your word magic ♥️ 🙏 🧚🏽 🪄
That’s a fascinating analogy, embroidery or stitching being like writing, so similar, a slow, careful, sedentary pastime that builds up small patterns to become greater than the sum of their parts. Wonderful. We are all Shashikoists :) Thank you Veronika, I’m so touched by your close reading.
... I just stumbled across this quote from Elizabeth Alexander:
“The act of writing itself becomes akin to stitching, in its way, or pasting, the pen as the needle working through personal and collective memory,”
(quoted in 'The Art of Brevity' by Grant Faulkner)
I should not have read this in bed, in the dark, wrapped in blankets . Right before I closed my eyes , slumbering and stumbling into a land of dreams. I fell head first into a very large Gordian knot.
“We in the present create the past, just as the past forms the future. That’s exactly what the ghosts did. They become the future in their present and now they are our past and we are their future.”
In Baxter State park in Maine ,there is a trail called Knife’s Edge. In some places ,only three feet wide, one must focus on foot placement and always keeping in mind , at any given moment, ‘look where you want to go, not where you don’t’ . Only rock and open sky and literally the entire world drops steeply on either side. Baxter State Park Guidebook explains; “Knife’s Edge should not be attempted in poor or marginal conditions. Do not attempt to leave the ridge once you have started…”
Maybe it should be renamed, The Now.
“The Now is just a peak in time from which everything falls, one way or another, into the past or into the future, maybe both ways”
Excuse me, while I continue to untangle myself . Brilliant ,Jonathan.
(Have you ever read the Hunger games, by Suzanne Collins?)
Ha ha That's the perfect analogy Lor, falling one way or the other from the Knife's Edge. Love it.
I must admit to an imagined acrophobia, so even thinking about that Knife's Edge is challenging. I watched the Alex Honnold film where he free climbs El Capitan in a state of total nerve wracking panic. I say imagined acrophobia because I've never actually ventured up to a place where I could test my fears :)
I haven't read Hunger games, or seen the series (if they are relate?), do you recommend it?
We saw Free Solo in the theatre, literally hanging on to the arm rests at times, or in my case , grabbing my husband’s arm. I mentioned HG because of your use of names ;“The Rains, The Time Of Ravage…”
The Hunger Games is set in what is now North America, the government is a Utopian society .The rest of North America is divided into 12 very poor and controlled Dystopian districts. Telling you more would give away the story. And there is so much more, but there is something called “The Reaping” ,but I won’t give that part away. I read the books first, then watched the movies.You may want to watch the first one, or read the first one and see if you find it worthy, I’m guessing you might like to read first. Be sure to watch in order if you do . Your daughters would probably love it too.The first book ( and movie) is called The Hunger Games. You might be able to stream it free where you live.There are some great actors as well, Woody Harrelson, Donald Sutherland, Philip Seymour, and of course the lead, Jennifer Lawrence. Even Lenny Kravitz plays a great roll.
Mmmmm HG sounds worth taking a gander at, thanks Lor, I'll check it out. BTW, we did the exact same, clung onto each other in the cinema like we were trying to cling on to that rock face. Incredible film. And bloody awful!
Like an echo, I hear the laughter of the cave painters leaving their joyful marks on the rock. This is a fabulous story, deeply embedded in our global imaginings.
"deeply embedded in our global imaginings", perfect, thank you Sarah, there are all kinds of "grand narratives" or "global imaginings" sloshing about here, so thanks for allowing them through :)
Love the idea of echoing laughter too!
Wow & Whew!! 😉
This grabbed me: “I didn’t resist. I wanted to hear what was being whispered.”
“These tumulteous days have kidnapped me. I shall escape. To where I do not know.”
Tears filled my eyes starting at #4 😢
So brilliant.🙏
Sharing this with friends x
Thanks Michaele. I was a it worried this piece was too out tere, so I really appreciate your understanding :)
Well, we sure are living in a totally “out there” surreal 3-ring circus for now 🫶🏽
That’s a perfect description 🤣
I am quite speechless.
The weave of your words, their ways, I cannot pull out the right applause and bravo of my own words for them. Quite marvelous.
Thank you for this.
I'm bowing in gratitude Alix :)
What kind of ghosts will we make of ourselves, I wonder... In truth, I don't want to know. I am afraid of the answer.
Great writing, Jonathan. Always!
I'm scared to know the truth too, maybe that's why we keep projecting ;)
I really like the idea of past, present and future merging into each other and each being responsible for the other. There's an indigenous echo in it I think.
Maybe it is more than an idea…
I think it is. Funnily enough the Maori word for the past, also means in front and coming. Or the Australian Aboriginal idea that time is circular and flexible, shifting according to need. I feel oppressed by this weird idea of "progress" and linearity.
Or as David Abram says, time has an enveloping roundness, like the encircling horizon.
I am sorry, but I can't help myself, this is another great book of his: "Becoming Animal" :)
Noooooooooooooo
Loving the last book recommendation though so.....
More truth than fable
Those fables are sneaky little truth bombs hiding behind fairies and trolls :)
Good grief Jonathan, says she, wiping away tears... what a truly harrowing but brilliantly written story/essay/biography of our times? I am not sure a label can even be attached.
There are so many layers of truth hidden between the ghosts, so cleverly linking to the present.
I could pick out so many lines but this one... I'm not sure I'll forget!
“You’re wrong, we can,” he said, “We in the present create the past, just as the past forms the future. That’s exactly what the ghosts did. They become the future in their present and now they are our past and we are their future."
And then "And we too shall be ghosts. How shall our shadow fall?"
Depends entirely on whether we start to pay attention and wether The Keepers stop starting fights!
I am silenced completely by your writing, your prose and your attention to truths...
I wonder if that difficulty in attaching a label is both a strength and weakness of my writing? But I know what you mean. I'm trying to raise feeling and thought in a reader and why not crash through some gate to achieve it? :)
And thanks Susie, I don't really know what a Substack friend really is, but you are definitely one of mine! Hope your well :)
What a great message of camaraderie to read over morning coffee, thank you - I send the same in return.🙏🏼
PS No Label = unique, original… I could live with that Jonathan!
That was a timely encouragement! Thanks Susie :)